Friday 8th June came and went as most Friday's do... We met at The Room and chatted and sewed; some of us started new projects and some of us puttered along on our works already in progress....
But this Friday was different. Tennille's little boy, Eli would have been two on Friday.
Eli died of cot death when he was just three months old. As a mother, it is my greatest fear that something should happen to any of my delightful, exasperating children. Tennille has lived that nightmare and she carries that grief with her every day.
Eli would have been two on Friday! Two! Those terrible, terrific twos where they explore and laugh and climb and assert their little personalities with all the force and enthusiasm that only a two year can.... I wonder what Eli would have been like? Would he have Tennille's outgoing enthusiasm for life or would he be more reflective like Robert, his dad? Would he smile like his mother; would he have a powerful physical presence like his brother; or would he be as calm and serene at two as he was when he was a little baby?
And we will never know... or do we already know?
When Eli passed away we, as Tennille's friends, felt and were helpless. How do you bring comfort to a mother who has just lost a part of her? In our helplessness, we decided to make a quilt of Tennille... Eli's Quilt... in the hope that it would wrap her in warmth, love and comfort to help her through.
The Room was in its infancy at this time. We had only been meeting for two months and while we had all fiddled with our individual projects, Eli's Quilt was the first project we attempted as a group.
We put the word out inviting anyone who wanted to contribute a block to do so. The response was overwhelming. Women who were not a part of The Room, women who had never threaded a needle in their life, sewed, designed and appliqued a tribute to Eli... And with every stitch, that little life was celebrated and mourned...
But Eli's life wasn't a little life. In fact, for such a short time on earth Eli's life was more powerful and full than some people who clock up a cake full of candles...
That little baby brought and continues to bring people together. Eli makes me love my children a little better, be a little bit more patient with them and cherish them, even in those moments that aren't particularly fantastic... Eli makes me remember and treasure that which is important..
Every stitch that went into Eli's Quilt laid the foundations for The Room.... It will always be The Room's greatest and most humbling experience, because it makes us realise how powerless we are in the face of loss, and how when all else fails, creativity is sometimes all we have...
Eli would have been Two on Friday and life goes on even when we don't want it to...
Eli would have been Two on Friday; and Eli should have been Two on Friday; but we don't always get to choose....
But Eli was Two on Friday because in the words of Emily Dickinson, "Unable are the Loved to die, for Love is Immortality".
I am not going to post any pictures this week except these....
Happy Birthday Eli Nullah Joseph Smallwood Clapham...
"Fly Free Little Man"
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